Puns for Educated Minds

pun1noun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.

  1. The Railway Society reception was an informal party of people of all stations (excuse the pun) in life.”

    Similar:
    play on words; wordplay; double entendre; (This is not English but French, but we use it in English);  double meaning; innuendo; witticism; and a quip.

verb pun; 3rd person present: puns; past tense: punned; past participle: punned; gerund or present participle: punning

  1. to make a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word.

    His first puzzle punned on composers, with answers like ‘Handel with care’ and ‘Haydn go seek.’”

     

 

Translate the Text: Übersetzen:

Susann, Faten, Rico, Heike, Simone and Frank.

Das Fenster im Zimmer ist kaputt.

Wie funktioniert der Fernsher?

Wollen Sie ein Doppelzimmer?

Zwei oder drei Nächte?

Wollen Sie eine Nacht oder zwei Nächte bleiben?

Kostet das Einzelzimmer wirklich hundert euro?

Wir möchten vier Nächte bleiben.

Haben Sie noch ein Doppelzimmer frei?

Wie viel kostet ein Doppelzimmer?

Wir wollen nur eine Nacht bleiben.

Wollen sie eine Nacht oder zwei Nächte bleiben?

Wir zahlen hundert Euro für das Einzelzimmer.

Guten Tag, haben Sie noch ein Einzelzimmer frei?

Wie viele Nächte möchten sie bleiben?

Nein, wir haben leider kein Doppelzimmer frei.

Ja, wir haben noch ein Doppelzimmer frei.

Wollen Sie das Einzelzimmer?

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Wit, Wit, Wit Business examples:

Witz, Witz, Witz Geschäftsbeispiele:

“If I found the end of the rainbow, Murphy would be there to tell me the pot of gold is at the other end.”

Quote by Bert Whitney.

 

Puns for Educated Minds

  1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

  3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

  5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

  6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

  7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

  8. Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

  9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

  11. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

  12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on ahead.

  13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

  14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

  15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

  16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

  17. A backward poet writes inverse.

  18. In a democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

  19. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

  20. A vulture boards an aeroplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

  21. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

  22. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.‘ The other says ‘Are you sure?‘ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.

  23. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Quote of the week: Zitat der Woche:

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.

Albert Einstein

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